literature

call to arms

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alexiscaitlinking's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

call to chrysanthemums!
your holy war, bathed in gold
i eat your thick-skinned wonder years
and lay in pillowed coffins
with the rembrandt picture
that your mother stole.

oh, gritty teeth,
your wondrous cult
following of the masses is
deeper than ayn or charlie
could've hoped.

what does this tell you
of the depleted soul;
the resin dripping
from the tree of life?

these are not myth.
these are child gatherings,
philosophic meanderings,
flayed breasts and smokey eyes
on the bosom of sister earth.
Where are there errors?
What/Where is the meaning?
Too abstract, or is there something to be said of the jibber-jabber?
What can be fixed?
What NEEDS to be fixed?
© 2012 - 2024 alexiscaitlinking
Comments8
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Demosthenes-H's avatar
Jibber jabber makes for the best poetry.

The vivacity and nostalgia brought by your writing is warming to a poet who lost hope in Yeats and the romantics. <3 it's eloquent and illustrated.

If I were to offer some feedback; (you seem intent on getting some haha) I would say you should play around with your structure more; do not feel afraid to place lines in cascading forms to give it more effect and to put emphasis on such beautiful phrases such as the last two lines- you have a great control of images. But what images you place together can have more effect than they themselves.

I look forward to more of your work. Hopefully my feedback isn't too bossy, I try my best to be fair. :)