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alexiscaitlinking

Alexis Caitlin King
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I'm not sure if it's just procrastination, or some other horrible sort of something I'm in, but I sit here and look at a blank page for hours on end. I sit, surf and wait for that fairytale wave to crest, peak and blow before my eyes. You know, that wonderful sort of idea that sticks in between your teeth, and you get really antsy trying to claw at it with anything pointy and preferably leaded, until all you've got left is a clump of half-chewed nothing on the paper in front of you, and your teeth taste like ink or graphite.
Yeah, that's me on a day to day.
Except, it's not only with writing. It's with everything. My room? Smells like carved pumpkin, which is sort of worrisome, because it hasn't been cleaned in a couple weeks and it's very far from October. The cleanest room in the house is the living room and I haven't stepped foot out there for weeks, unless to scurry through to get out the door and off to work.
It's weird that the boys are more conscientious of this than myself.
So, as we now near the end of December, I'm becoming increasingly worried and perturbed by my lack of motivation to tackle this severe procrastination issue.
So it seems my New Years Resolution is obvious.
Terminate procrastination to this degree.
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I've been processing a few thoughts over and over again. They twist through my thoughts like a cog cranks clock hands, passing through seconds, minutes, hours as if they were nothing.

But, aren't they nothing? Anyway, what is an hour? What is time? What is life but something the human complex has constructed to suit it's fancy? Why does any of it matter in the long run? We all live to die, fight to live and in the end.. it all vanishes. Out like a candle in the wind.
This nothingness consumes me and makes me handsomely more realistic, but at the same time, it chews apart my reality. I've realized that I am the same nothing I once feared.


I'm but an ant walking wire over the stream.
These are the thoughts I haunt while I dream.
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Congrats!

1 min read
Congratulations to my dear friend, JaveryAxelMann for his DD, "A Perverted Elegy for Atlantis". This only means that I'll have to try harder at besting your writing style.

I'll fail, but I'll certainly try.

A wonderful writer, a wonderful musician, a wonderful mind.
Congrats.

Fondly,
Me
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... to be left home alone, listening to Sigur Ros.
They're a lovely genre on their own. However, there is such melancholy in the music itself, it's nearly heartbreaking.

I've felt very alone this weekend; I think it is the empty apartment. I think it's the empty life. I need so much contact, both physical and psychological, it's very depressing when I cannot have it. I think too much when I'm alone. I hate too much when I'm alone.

Most of all, I'm too alone when I'm alone.

The worst part about it is that the alone is never welcome. It always leaves my lungs aching, my stomach empty. It's that horrible feeling you get when you drink ice cold water on an empty stomach. That deep pang of knives burrowing out of your gut from inside.

I really don't know what to do about this tendency of loneliness. It's really a bacterial infection, I think.


Anyways, I'm considering submitting some of my work to a magazine of some sort; but I have no idea which poem or magazine to submit.
Anyone have any ideas?
Or is it not in my best interest?

I'll try my best to stop being melodramatic.
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thewrittenrevolution.deviantar…

I've literally never felt so utterly honored before in my life.
I'm practically crawling out of my skin with happiness.

Thank you, TheMaidenInBlack, this means so very much to me. :) :heart:


I wish I had more to say, but I'm really just speechless. :hug:
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Featured

Tackling Procrastination by alexiscaitlinking, journal

Telltale Nothing by alexiscaitlinking, journal

Congrats! by alexiscaitlinking, journal

It's really not in my best interest... by alexiscaitlinking, journal

Featured Member? by alexiscaitlinking, journal